A Further Awakening

I often deeply immerse myself in the teachings of others, walk a ways down their path to see how it fits into my own journey then decide a u-turn is in order.  This has been the way of both my spiritual and creative journey. When it comes to creative expression I love trying new art forms and techniques.  Some of them stick, while others fall away or I expand them into my own derivations.  For me, expressing myself in a variety of creative forms brings the most pleasure.  I've created for shows and exhibits, and while I did well in those arena's and even walked away with awards, the creative process itself was always more fulfilling that the recognition.  So, after a while I stopped entering shows and exhibits and just formed my own One Woman Show (and tell) to encourage the use of creative energy to connect to the deeper aspects of one's soul.  Between this and continuing to enjoy my own creativity, I have been happy unplugging from 'competitive' arenas.  Though I miss the creative camaraderie provided by working with others toward an exhibit or show, my creative world has always been more introverted, so it works for me.

My creative energy has been primarily influenced by my spiritual pursuits and is indeed a form of channeling.  Last year however my channeling began to move from creative expression as my journaling turned more and more toward automatic writing. While I have always channeled poetry, lyrics and my own higher mind perspectives, last year I received what I can only refer to as introductory messages from two 'collectives' referring to themselves as the Andromedians and the Arcturians.  Prior to that I felt the Ananda collective influencing some of my writings.  I shared this in an earlier post along with the 'light language' drawings that were coming through.  As is typical with me, I strolled a bit down this path and listened to the perspectives of those who intentionally channel these collectives. However, a few weeks ago I began to feel I was intuitively being guided toward a u-turn.  

Something in me felt that these collectives and their messages were just an expansion of the matrix of form on a less dense level.  My desire to link directly to my own higher mind and the journey beyond the world of 'them and us' was guiding me to a higher understanding.  These collectives were leading me to the understanding of sacred geometry and the structure around which our world is formed.  I understood this as an expansion of my initial quest to understand the link between creativity, spirituality and self-realization that had begun decades ago. I had asked for this understanding!  Our answers always flow from where our attention is focused.  This is the meaning of "Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you."  However, my intuition allowed me to see this link between creativity, spirituality and self-realization as a limiting aspect rather than a freeing aspect.  Since freeing myself from any 'system' and stepping into my sovereign divine aspect is the ultimate goal in my spiritual journey, I paid attention to my intuitive nudges.

My desire to understand the link between creativity, spirituality and self-realization was prompted  almost three decades ago as healing energies came through my creative process and transformed my life.  Today I see that as a path I had to take to awaken to the path before me now...the path freeing me from any attachment to a system or energetic matrix in order to know or heal myself.  So often we form an attachment and dedication to anything that offered us healing or guidance.  This is a misunderstanding of how and why it came into our life. We must begin where we are before we can fully open to who we are!  However, moving beyond those 'interventions' is always the path.  Today my intuitive guidance is freeing me further away from constraint and the 'messages' of anything representing itself as 'apart from me'.  I am sovereign and whole and while my experience is one of limited duality, that is but an illusion that requires further awakening.  I believe this u-turn to be just that; a further awakening.  

Without the introduction to these 'collectives' and their perspectives, my own higher mind could not have steered me even deeper inward, so I am grateful to have met these aspects.  I am more grateful however to have awakened from their guidance which still lies within the realm of separation, however less dense.  The involvement with seemingly more advanced beings can be quite captivating, but really it is only another form of separation and distraction from true awakening.  One must dive deep to truly know themselves.  Any hierarchy that presents a ladder one must climb in order to reach freedom does not offer freedom.  This includes the realm of higher dimensional collectives, ascended masters, archangels, guides and even the concept of a universal God.  Any energetic matrix, be it built upon 'sacred' geometry or not is still a matrix and therefore a net that keeps us bound within it.  I am an expression of Source, period.  The more energy I put into experiencing myself as such, and the less distraction I involve myself with, the better.  This way of thinking blows the 'new age' community apart...and it should.  That community is as much an invention of control as is religion, politics, educational systems, media conglomerates, healing modalities, and corporate elites.  Until we awaken to our participation in any 'system' we can not free ourselves from 'systems'.  It is that simple.....but not easy.  Listening and learning from others is fine.  However, staying plugged directly into my own higher self, regardless of all the teachers and mystics 'out there' has proven to provide the most direct path.  Listen, glean, try on any teaching for size, but know this, anything, ANYTHING that we don't eventually outgrow will ensnare and limit us......And  Source is limitless!

Conditioning or Creativity

From my abstract Meditation Ink Painting series

This morning I was awakened with a deep knowing that is hard to put into words. Still, I feel inspired to write about it, possibly to share the insight, but also to anchor it in myself. I often have an understanding of intuitive spiritual concepts and feel as though I 'get' it until they rise again to press themselves even deeper into my awareness....as if some divine artist is shaping the clay that I am, as I shape the creative energy that runs through me.  This morning was one of those times.  I was shown how very much we, in modern America, have been cut off from the power of true creative energy by an intentional conditioning that we do not even realize we are living under.  We use and see creative energy as a way to 'make stuff' rather than as the life force it truly is for the continual betterment of our life experience. This is not natural nor is it by accident. It is by design! Most won't read the whole article because that is how deep our conditioning runs.  If you feel the need to blow off the things I am sharing, try to read on.  I won't go into much detail in hopes that it won't be too much, and that it might just spark enough of a question in your mind to niggle it's way into your own a-ha moment. As you read, keep this thought in mind...'What might I create; how might my art, my work, my contribution, my life look if conditioning were not in place?'

For some time now I have felt a pull to explore the systems we shape our lives around. Those things we participate in without questioning if the arena is truly what it represents itself to be; our healthcare system, our educational system, our religious institutions, our ideas about what constitutes 'work' or career, our political/governmental system, military, etc. I'm not talking about what's "wrong" or what needs "improvement" in these systems, I am talking about the systems themselves and the intentions behind their design or re-design.

As I began to explore, I was profoundly stirred by the intentional manipulation behind all of these systems. Taking education for example, which I think most would agree is a good thing, I never before saw how it was hijacked to intentionally create a dependent 'working class'.  "Study hard and you can get a good job..." "Do well in school and you will have a good career."  What we don't see is that from janitors to Ph. D's  anyone that trades time for money is working 'for' someone else.  We are never told, follow your passion and all your needs will be met.  We are not encouraged from an early age to look for and pursue an education built around those things that call us.  We are grouped together, lined up in rows and taught little that we will ever use in 'real life', as we are programmed to follow instruction and respond to the ringing of a bell. And, it is illegal not to educate our children based on an "approved" curriculum.  ILLEGAL!

I was shown how much of what we are taught in the curriculum has little to do with the truth.  Math, science, history has all been designed to prevent us from accessing the true wonders that will come to light in the not so distant future.  Our most noted scholars will look like kindergarteners in the face of what is really known by those not limited to the systems within our working class....by those who intentionally designed these systems.  But this is nothing compared to what I have found in reviewing some of the very credible whistle blowers that have been surfacing in the last few years to report on the true design behind standardized testing and our school's "gifted" programs true purpose.  MILAB is not a myth.  And while I won't go into it here, if you have a child in school or know someone that does, you might want to learn about it. And this is just our education system! What about all the other systems we involve ourselves in without questioning the set up behind them. What if politics was intentionally designed to make you think you have a choice and that your vote was responsible for change. Wouldn't that keep the fight going between the parties involved? Yes, as it provided a nice distraction to keep us from looking behind the scene at the true manipulators of all our 'systems'!

If you are still reading, I want to share the a-ha I awoke to this morning.  Because I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, I came to the awareness that if Earth (3rd dimension) is a school for our spiritual evolution, then each situation or person we encounter is a lesson.  Sounds simple, right?  Well, let's look at what this truly means.  Any arena that we are conditioned into aborts the spiritual journey. Anything we do routinely, automatically or without questioning divorces us from an opportunity for spontaneous awakening. The systems in place in our lives (school, work, military, religious, etc.) fall under the umbrella of a larger system we never even see. This is the system which divorces us from the potential that lies within complete attention to the moment at hand in every moment. Fascination, curiosity, exploration are our natural states of being!  If we were not zombied out by conditioned routines and systems, exhaustion from their depleting energy drains, and then programmed by the 'news and entertainment' provided for us by the same folks behind all the other systems, who might we be?  How engaged and evolved might we become?  Might we, the masses, surpass those few who have designed and created a society to keep us entranced and entrenched? Ahh..and there it is, the reason this has been done.  Keeping us a 'working class', believing we have to trade time for money so we can buy their goods while they keep us from free energy, abundant food supplies and all that we would ever need to truly live free and cultivate the God-given gifts of creative expression is their purpose.   

I could go on about how they have stolen or circumvented advancements that would have freed us long ago from disease, famine, energy resources, etc., but if you have even read this far you can begin to pull the thread that will let you find all of this for yourselves.  I am just an artist and an earnest mystic.  As one who was trapped in all that I have mentioned, if I could be awakened I trust that anyone can...if they so desire.  Until then I will keep the enlightening energy of creativity focused toward my own awakening and sharing that through art and writing. I will keep sprinkling my bread crumbs and loving those that mock me, believing I have gone off the deep end.  They will awaken, of that I am sure. But if you are one with children, or grand children, please, look sooner rather than later at the systems you involve them in.  You are their guardian, and school is not what you think it is.